Brilliant, Fun, Gotta Read!

[mystique]

Marriage (Part l) Typical macho man married typical good looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night.....whether you are here or not." (DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)

Marriage (Part ll) A Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold as ever" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last." (HE ASKED FOR IT)

Marriage (Part lll) Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out the house. After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?" She says "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!" (YEAH, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING TOO!)

Marriage (Part lV) A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night they went to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?" His wife irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four." (LADY GO RIGHT AHEAD!)

Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment. A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him up at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (AND LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me up at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woke him up, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up!" (GOOD ONE! )

***Men are not equipped for these types of stuff. God might have created man before women, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.***