Writer: Shame lingers for loved ones after a suicide

In the wake of the deaths by suicide of two mental health advocates, CNN's Michael Smerconish speaks with Peggy Wehmeyer about living with the shame and stigma of having a loved one die by suicide. If you or someone you know needs help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). #CNN #News

53 comments

    1. @Janet 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯

  1. This woman’s advice about what to do or say to someone who has lost a loved one to suicide applies to anyone who has lost a loved one. The woman who was interrogating a widow about her husbands cancer death. was crude and cruel in any event. What ever the cause of death, the proper response is, “I am so very sorry. (pause) May i get you a cup of tea?” Or some such.

    1. @John Dough I have not the slightest idea to whom you are referring when you say “him,” but I assure you I have killed no one.

  2. Unless you’ve been through depression, people have no idea what it’s like and are quick to judge others. This is why people WITH depression never say anything even to their loved ones because instead of being understanding and LISTENING they just say “get over it”, “you need help” (in a negative way), and often brush off what a person is trying to describe to them.

    Depression is not easy to deal with nor is it fun for anyone suffering from it.

    1. I had depression and tried to kill myself. I was full of anger and hate ( bc of bad childhood) . Medications didnt do anything for me it just numbed me up turning me in a zombie like stage.
      My cure was Jesus Christ . He is the only one who can set you free.
      I hope you give him a try?

    2. @Flavius Stilicho
      I am telling the truth . I have no reason to lie. I was on depression meds when I tried to kill myself . And after the suicide attempt the phych meds made me num and I felt nothing , just like a zombie, becoming easy to control if you get my hint. Jesus saved me .
      Also , nice profile picture a rider on a horse . Who do you support ? The bible is clear regarding the 4 horsemen. Repent and put your trust and faith in the lord Jesus Christ.

    3. @Tanja B. i believe you because i know its true ive had the same experience where Jesus is the only thing to set you free from messed up stuff I appreciate you sharing

  3. A deep desire ‘to rescue’ drives some people to rescue others, when they need to be rescued as well. Vulnerable people often “counsel” [read: rescue] others instead of seeking counsel. We’re all broken human beings.

    1. This is actually what I’ve been doing. I obsessed every day about my depression and fought to not follow through. It wasn’t until I started listening to others that felt this way did I start to turn around. I focus on helping people as much as I can now. The thoughts are still there but my attention isn’t on them.

    2. Yes, yet you cannot save everyone. Some may act vulnerable to drag one down by victim playing. Real suicides are to be taken seriously. It may blindside one when a person commits suicide, as one did not see it coming.

    3. @Ciara ooh playing the victim just to feel better about yourself was the last thing I learned. I make sure I don’t get into the mindset of “saving” someone, that only leads me to thinking about myself. I just try to help where I can and I make sure they understand that I will not lie to them or just say stuff to make them feel better. It has to be clear that I will be blunt with my honesty. Everyone I’ve talked to has respected the fact that approach with no judgment or agenda. I just want to listen to their story and if they want or need it, I will point out options for them and let them know that it feels great when you push past that cloud

  4. Someday people will realize that the underlying, unaddressed, unspoken root causes of this epidemic are those basic, fundamental human needs that continually get set aside, or simply ignored. Address those needs and many social ills will fade into obscurity.

    1. There are a lot of people that lose “their purpose”. I can’t speak for everyone, but I constantly fear the idea of just existing without purpose. I’ve dealt with major depressive disorder and anxiety for a very long time and somehow 2019 I feel like I’ve pushed through a cloud. So I spend all of my available time to helping everyone I can. I’ve found listening without judgment and letting people vent has really helped.

    2. I’ve seen parents’ ignore a suicidal child (even with a grandchild present) and end up in denial in the funeral. Then there are those who ACTUALLY tried hard to save their kids and were blindsided or unabled.

    1. @Truthify she needs to learn how to tell if someone is uncomfortable talking about a subject. Even if he died of natural causes, everyone isn’t comfortable with giving a detailed description of the timeline and circumstances a loved one passed away.

  5. Suicide Bombers blow up and take out damn near everybody in the crowd..suicides do the same thing to their families,but they don’t need a bomb.

    1. Soooooo true , May God gives us wisdom and hope to heal this senseless actions . Our beautiful planet is so beautiful, May this beauty of creation gives all of hope . An astronaut describe it as being small and yet the pain and evilness is getting greater . Don’t have answers, but I want solutions and willing to dialogue with who wish the same thing . We need a revolt of peace ,love and brotherhood , no drugs .

  6. Wooo wee between the suicides and opioids, these folks are dropping like flies! . These plagues seem to be growing. America is gasping for air!

    1. It seems to me that greed and corruption of our government has created a future that many people don’t want to see.

  7. For you whom have no souls… “bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic souls for all of eternity” — Rocko’s modern life S3e8

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