CNN's Michael Smerconish highlights some troubling statistics about young men in the United States and argues that they are in crisis.
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Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined
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I’m 52 never been married or ever been a real committed long term relationship and have no kids. I’m by no means am I lonely or depressed I really enjoy life.
@Cyrus The Great š
Good to hear
I’m 42 and the same way, have a few hook ups a month and everything is great. Working on my goals.
42 single, no kids, and happy. Here is the thing though. Extroverts don’t understand and think we are all depressed, have neckbeards, and must be 400 lbs while looking like Sloth from the Goonies. I just don’t like the idea of not being free to do what I want at anytime and have anyone big or small bound to me legally. Oh, and I really like keeping all of my money and stuff. I’d just say that if you date be honest you won’t be getting married or having kids upfront. Maybe not on date #1 but I’d definitely say in the first month.
I know but the world tells us we are depressed and lonely, that’s because THEY would be if they were single cause they are not that independent people. “We mock what we don’t understand”.
Sounds like we need to bring manufacturing back to the US like we’ve been talking about for decades now. The problem is a lack of quality job opportunities and education. When we cant find a way to provide without spending 80% of your waking hours at a soulless job. If I’m gonna have a family or go make a bunch of friends I’m not doing it till I can actually spend time with them. Not to mention the headache it is to date these days. Like finding a needle in a hay basket at this point.
It is coming back, but manufacturing is so much more automated than it used to be that it is not clear it will really help much anyway.
That’s a pipe dream, I have been working in manufacturing and supply chain for over a decade, and factories have downsized due to technology. While 20 years ago if you look at the correlation between the number of workers and productivity, we can produce much more now with fewer workers. So even if we go back to 1950’s output you will still have a huge gap in factory staff. Also, technology lowers wages, and women can take many of those jobs men use to dominate because technology makes manufacturing less strength-based.
What needs to be addressed is child support, divorce, alimony etc. Y’all are all scared to address these topics.
I canāt imagine dating in the digital age. It must be a nightmare.
@Missa easy to say.
Whenever a man aproaches a female, the women most of the times just say yukk a creep!
While the men is nust deacant and is interested in her.
I personaly am to proud to aprouch a female to ask her number.
Because I can not take on the arogance of females consending me and rejecting.
I met wife via family and were introduced like aranged mariage.
Of course she was interested in me and I in her.
Tje point is internet and even live aprouching is discusting and I want nothing to with it!
@HemiHead664 He makes some good points but, yeah theres some other areas that need to be included.
Actually online dating used to be good or ok. Now, forget it, too many fake profiles, selling access to OF, blame the dating apps themselves for allowing it. Plus, women are not that accessible nowadays, sorry for saying that. Tough world being a single men for getting some tenderness at least. Go to to gym, let it out there, read a lot maybe? Take it easy, lots of thing to be thankful for. Cheers cheers!
ā@Elle Fields haha, I just said the same thing. I could have a new date daily. Because im a nice person and it shows.
It’s almost like, if I do not create a Tinder account or some online dating app, it is practically impossible to meet women outside of the ones I work with. I wouldn’t mind doing speed dating or something. We just need to get to know people more for who they are and stop creating false narratives to hide behind and create resentment. The constant assumptions about what people are like are exhausting as well.
online dating is advertising trying to sell a product
(self) with enticing claims. real person interaction no corporate entity in between
@krnpowr bingo!!! Just insecure geeks probably raised on social media, or just on the internet all day feeling bad for themselves lol. Just go talk to people its not hard lmao. If you get rejected big freakin deal! Theres millions of fish in the sea you’ll catch one. And not everyone is gonna be a 10/10 in looks so get that out of your heads also. Gotta play in your league š¤·āāļø.
@Theoneandonly123 BS
@Elibear some sites are more like legal prostitution; digital pimps. Pay the site to find hookups? No thanks, I’ll sell myself on a corner in a way nicer neighborhood. š
Hashtag: RESPECT YOURSELF, ACCEPT YOURSELF.š„šāļø
@Theoneandonly123 where did you get your data, Incel Weekly?
I am single. I’ve always been single. I never had a boyfriend nor a girlfriend. I never dated and honestly, I don’t care. I don’t want romance in my life. I am completely uninterested. I don’t want romance and I don’t want sex. And you know what? I am perfectly happy! I have a good job, a lot of free time on my hands, plenty of hobbies and a healthy bank account. I have a small clique of friends who I am very dedicated to. My single life is good and I don’t want it to change.
@Sky Cloud personality disorder lesson right there…
And what you wrote isnt false
Sky Cloud, you don’t need a personality disorder to be asexual / aromantic, or even to be allo and just choose not to engage in all that.
ā@mm a sounds like you are scared to be alone.
That is exactly how I felt as well.
ā@mm a Are you a mental health expert or something? whats wrong with a man that enjoys solidarity in this crazy social mess? lust and desire for female validation must be most important to you.
Iām 43 and Iāve noticed this shift gradually over the last 20 years. Social media has filled the gap of social needs of many rather than actually going out and having meaningful relationships, either romantically and platonically. There is a reason we have an anxiety and depression problem in this country. A lot of people have become shut ins and some (not all of them) havenāt developed the social skills to function in a public setting and that brings a lot of anxiety to some.
@William B first off the Republican Party has lost the popular vote in 6 of the last 7 elections. Second youāre the exact person that should go outside and stay of the internet, since you donāt seem to have the critical thinking skills to handle it. Yikes.
@William B Dude you are crazy there’s no democrats or politics in this. It’s just technology and the app giving a menu for women to choose only the hottest men.
@combonation catalyst ….and after the bank vice-president fails to show to sweep them off their feet they settle in to be aging cat ladies. š±š±š±
Social media??? No.. It started when Nixon, Reagan and Republicans took all the middle class good paying union jobs to China so billionaires and wall street can make billions of dollars for themselves and their shareholders…
im 42 and, now that im a bit older, i don’t need to beat women off with a stick as much as i used to even just a few years ago… honestly thristy women are annoying as f and take less hints than you might believe. the man should always do the chasing, not the woman
dating standards have become impossible for single people to fulfil due to financial and emotional constraints for both sexes. Until we address the issues with equality in the workplace, in the home, and in the marriage, we will continue down this path.
No, imo, UNTIL Men address WHO their Creator….. IS, honor and Worship him, THIS is only gonna get worse. Men have NO POWER, Without GOD. They LITERALLY think they can do things themselves, OR don’t believe at all.
LMAO. This wokester/feminist quest for “equality” amongst two sexes that are not equal in any number of ways is precisely the problem.
@Paddington but the problem is that young men are financially unstable and in an increasingly large amount havenāt done and still arenāt doing themselves any favors. Especially when theyāre listening to and acting out the toxic masculinity rhetoric they hear on social media: primarily pro-violence, misogynistic stuff. This stuff is basically telling them that a womanās place is to be their āpetā/slave to wait on their beck and call, to sate all their worldly needs and desires, be their punching bags when things go wrong and to throw her away once they tire of her to avoid any responsibility. Iām not saying all men are like that and there are woman out there who truly are SoBs but when you have social media promoting and encouraging that kind of āmasculineā behavior it turns women off. Coupled with the decline of large extended families to share the financial and physical burden of child rearing, a complete lack of financial incentive, a next to non-existent affordable maternal healthcare, an ever increasing amount of stories of how fathers, uncles, brothers, and cousins have forced themselves on their younger physical disadvantaged female family members, or physically, emotionally and psychologically abused them for their own pleasure, or abandoned them to fend for themselves so that they can hook up with some young āflingā a lot of women have increasingly grown disinterested in men. Some even have begun to dislike or outright hate men. Women are sick and tired of being menās āpetsā or their motherās replacement.
Listening to the people who created the problem describe the problem is hilarious.
This is definitely happening and I said this to myself but too embarrassed to say it out loud ,because of the perception of being inscure or not strong . š
Honestly itās easier to Date out Side the U.S get your passport travel the world š become a passport Bro
I know what you mean, itās a stupid stigma no matter what anybody says
I’m glad this issue is discussed publicly! Thank you Michael & Scott! š
@Cara CicatrizĀ No the game doesn’t have to be played. There is a way out for those that want it. The world is a big place.
@James Ryan kuk boy I agree it’s not only their fault social media gives them a plethora of options men not so much.
@mike jones Everything is Biden’s fault now, it used to Benghazi or Hilary’s emails or Obama’s fault.. But it is never the fault of right wing lunatics who want tax cuts for billionaires huh???
I suppose the irony is that this interview states that a lack of public spending on the middle class is partly to blame, and then meanwhile Trump, who was popular among sexually insecure men per the Washington Post, passed massive tax cuts for the wealthy while doing little for the middle class. Any jobs he created were a result of gov spending, not tax cuts.
Sayyy…. this story rocketing outta control. Seems like hopefully next step is a congressional meeting
As a life-long feminist I say what hurts one sex hurts the other. Young men deserve the chance to be their best selves, just like everyone else, and men with a future are exactly the men women want. the professor is right that by not supporting young men and the future, we are hurting everyone.
Oh boy.
Having been brought up in Mexico of an American mother and Mexican father and exposed equally to both cultures, I have always noticed that emotional bonds between people in the US are much, much weaker. People donāt have wide social circles. Their nonchalant attitude toward people they should feel close to and just how they greet them, the lack of interest in their lives, is astounding.
Australia like that to and I think it sucks.
This is exactly true. In europe my friends in europe are so much more engaging and treat friendship and friends with value and always want to keep tight connections and love to do things with other people. In America the goal is to find a reproductive partner to stay on that lonely island forever. Where in europe you have a large circle of friends and you don’t base that on looks or social status. And the people abroad are just way fun-er to talk to and engage. Americans are poor at having an interesting conversation or just being around so we fill those niches with money and looks instead of just a fun person to be around.
I agree. In American culture, when someone helps you, there is very little debt of honor. They’ll just say “it’s you who wanted to help, I didn’t ask you to”. Suddenly, kindness is your fault. This is a problem due to the lack of American culture, they have no culture spanning generations. They have a gun culture, that’s all they got, hence they solve everything with guns, not values ingrained from a real culture.
Yeah, Mexican culture is so beautiful. That’s why there’s no rule of Law, everyone cares about each other. š¤£š¤£š¤£
@Pamela Wing Americans also all have their shades shut.
Iām in my mid 30s and have been single for a couple of years now. Iāve had 2 serious long term relationships and had had my heart broken twice. There was also a lot of baggage and drama brought into my life with those relationships. Iām terrified to date. I donāt want any drama or someone else pointing out how Iām ineffectively meeting their needs (even though I gave everything I had in the last relationship). Every now and then I think that I should put myself back into the dating pool due to societal pressures, but god is my life peaceful alone. My peace is everything.
@Barney’s Girl Wrong, those men are the ānice guysā that you friendzoned, and refuse to date!
ā@Jonathan Graham Your not alone. As a woman, I feel the same way. š
Bro find someone who brings you piece. The right people are out thereā¤ļø
44 here… Last woman I was with was in 2019. Since she left me, I’ve become more and more shut in. Finding purpose in life becomes more and more difficult, especially when you don’t have family or friends. You get to a point that you turn off your phone’s ringer and you keep it off, you don’t answer phone calls, you only make an occasional outbound phone call. You start to lose vigor and you don’t see other human lives as holding any importance, hence it’s harder to feel bad for people when you see all these mass shootings, for example. You become desensitized to your environment. I have been studying Stoic philosophy recently and it has helped me come to grips with many aspects of life. You come to realize that relationships are irrational and that we really don’t need a “partner” to be happy in life. To be happy we have to become content with what we already have.
Relationships come with too much drama. It’s the nature of them, I suppose. It’s a lot of effort invested to finally find somebody that you are, statistically, not going to be with long-term. After that, rinse and repeat the whole cycle of drama. If you’re unlucky enough to get married and divorced, not only have you lost time and effort, you also end up losing a lot of your savings. Better off putting in effort to make friends and that will fill your needs for social interaction.
There are also men like me, who are just not interested in the dating game anymore. We pursue other things with more focus and no distraction.
So true. Social media has made so many people so self-interested. Family, marriage, relationships in general are an arrangement of service.
They always have been. Marriage for ‘love’ is a 20th cent construct.
I listened, I read all the commentsā¦.my experience is so far removed, but may be useful. Iām a wife, mother and grandmother of men. None of us had/have great jobs, my dad too, and none found partners online, even grandson. One thing my whole family has is Empathy. Kind, helpful, generous men. Including my grandfathers, uncles, stepdad and dad too. No egos tied up in careers and money. Their families were/are treated with respect not patriarchy. One son had his son at 19 and managed to co parent and stay friends with a very challenging ex. for 30 years. Married again with daughters. Iām so proud and happy to have beautiful grandson and his wife in my life. My other son had many platonic and otherwise girlfriends and in his late 30ās settled down with an amazing woman. Happily choosing to not have children. I donāt tell my story to brag, but to tell you that you have to realize what lust is, what love is and that being kind is the most important thing in any relationship. Iām the child of divorced parents, been through poverty, illnesses and unfaithful partner, so not saying life was easy!
Beautiful. Great observations!
Wow very thoughtful and empathetic
Scott Galloway is 100% correct. The recent rent exploits are putting the final nail in this coffin – how can a young man afford to pay rent, college loans, and everything else, and still have money to go out and socialze.
A single short evening at a bar can cost $50 – these days that is basically all the money many people have left in their budget after paying the bills.
Even if you meet a girl, that night – you can’t even afford to take her out again…
ā@Mikael Cronholm or she can just stay ho.e and cook for herself.
Meet for coffee, go for a walk, cook dinner together, browse a bookstore or view video choices. Talk, get to know each other, share and laugh with each other. That’s how a good relationship starts.
On top of this, what are the expectations of young women now – as to where their potential partner “should” be, both emotionally and financially?
Dating, forming and nurturing relationships seems to have gotten harder, not easier; for the youth.
It’s healthy to want a good lifestyle, and a healthy relationship. It’s also healthy to realize that good things require work, overtime.
@emaarredondo8415Ā Curltual shift? Have you never studied history? This is how all wealthy empires collapse. It’s a cycle. Women want material things. Men want faithful women. When the imbalance manifests. Society doesn’t “Change” men get dissatisfied. They in return start committing crimes and being violent. Society eventually devolves. From a population decline. Wars break out and power is shifted to a new global leader. From poverty comes natural order and the cycle repeats.
@emaarredondo8415Ā Take Rome for an example. Nothing we think of as new or progressive today. Is actually new. Every idea has been tested before. There is a common natural order. Just as there is in the wild in animals.
I’m 44 and have been married for almost 20 years. Every girlfriend I ever had I’ve met through mutual friends and never did that traditional dating thing. It sounded awful in the 90s so I can only imagine how much it would suck now.
It blows!
Find someone who shares your interests, first. Get off the couch. Mom always said, “She’s not going to walk into your living room!”, and she was right!
The only issues I have with this guys statements are:
1- He says that ‘seniors just received the highest cost of living increase in history’ — This isn’t exactly a fully factual statement. ONLY people receiving Social Security and SSI have received this ‘cost of living increase’, not ALL seniors. And for those existing solely on their Social Security or SSI payments, that 6% is equal to about $80 to $120 a month increase, on what was an $850 to $1000 a month INCOME. So, the dude is a bit misrepresenting some mythical ‘bonus’ that seniors got in the last year.
And 2 – The guy really hammers in about the whole ‘family and having babies’ thing being some type of answer. He refers to it a bit. And this is something that the anti-abortionists will jump on like flies as just one more reason to force women to have children, whether they want to or not, whether it’s the best thing for them, or the potential unborn child or not, whether or not there will be support for the potential unborn child etc…etc…. It’s a dangerous road to go down, claiming that the thing that will ‘save men in America’ is to get them married and have them father children.
Hereās a major factor in the decline of mental health
Adverse childhood experiences
In the words of Dr. Robert Block, the former President of the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Adverse childhood experiences are the single greatest unaddressed public health threat facing our nation today.”
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. -Frederick Douglass
Frederick Douglass? That sounds like a man kids in Florida won’t know about soon. They’ll sure as hell be tested on him for national tests and out of state schools though.
Everything he said is true. Iām 44, divorced. I tried dating, in many different forms not just online which has been such a disappointmentā¦and have been left with no desire to pursue it. Itās just not worth my time,and energy.
I’m 42 and have not dated in years, I do have hook ups. I don’t miss the idea of being tied down.